The View

I am so glad The View dedicated an entire show to Infertility and Multiple Miscarriages. Too many couples experience this heartbreaking journey. Please take some time to watch this 38 min episode.

If you are going through the struggle to start your family please also consider joining RESOLVE- The National Infertility Association. They were a huge support system for me when I was "unresolved" and I met some amazing women with whom I am very close friends with still today.

To see segment go to the link below:

http://abc.go.com/watch/the-view/167365/252234/the-view-225

RESOLVE Website:
http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer

Join us for the Walk of Hope March 20th!
http://www.resolve.org/site/Calendar/540182735?view=Detail&id=35161

The Walk of Hope is held to give hope to those facing infertility and to celebrate those families formed through adoption and medical intervention. For 1 in 8 couples in the United States, the dream of creating a family is a long, emotional and expensive journey. Infertility is a devastating disease, touching every aspect of life - physical, emotional, spiritual and financial.

RESOLVE works to increase public awareness of the issues surrounding infertility and the various family-building options available to those facing this disease.

It's The Simple Things That Matter

Two Fridays ago my hubby and I were at Petco and adopted a water turtle named Crush for only $5. (my best friend Rhea helped me with the name since it was the name of the turtle in Finding Nemo) We kind of started laughing when they asked us if we were ready to sign the adoption papers. Oh how they have no idea how ready we are but for now we looked at this as "practice" for the real thing!

My favorite part about adopting this turtle was when our friends brought their little boy over to see him. The excitement on his face and the laugh he made when the turtle dove into the water just made us smile. After they left my husband said "seeing Bryce's reaction to the turtle was well worth the $5!" I realized then what a great father Weston is going to make. (not that I didn't already know but this confirmed it that much more) It's the little things that excite us when we are around our friends kids. We don't have to spend tons of money or show off. It is amazing how a $5 swimming turtle can brighten up your day when you you get to share it with a little kid who thinks it is the coolest thing he has ever seen. I can't wait for the day when we get to see our own child's smiling face when we show him or her the simple wonderful things life has to offer.

The Wait Really Is the Hardest Part

Wow-They weren't kidding when they said the wait is the hardest part. It's only been about a month in a 1/2 since we went active with Lifetime Adoptions and I am already getting antsy. I bring my phone everywhere in case they call. Everyday I pray they call but they don't. Today I find myself feeling very sad and wondering if I will ever be a mother. I didn't sleep very well last night and woke up and had a good cry after breakfast. Everyday I see others around me having babies and it makes me sad. Of course I am happy for everyone else but I want to experience the wonderful joys everyone else is posting about on their facebook or myspace pages and experience motherhood first hand. I have never wanted something so badly in my life.

I'm tired of taking things one step at a time. I'm tired of waiting. I'm just plan tired. Each month I still have that little hope inside me that I will be pregnant and that the next one will stick but this morning I realized I am so tired of all the worry. I am so ready to adopt a baby and really start my family with my husband. Today I just feel so broken. I know it is normal to have days like this and these feelings will too pass but I am just so ready.

Maybe I am feeling extra down because this Friday I should be celebrating our little boy's first birthday on May 22nd. He is the only baby we acutally saw a heartbeat with and then 3 weeks later he was gone. I still think about that day. The day I had to call my husband and tell him I lost yet another baby of ours. We were so close that time it still hurts to not know why we lost him.

I know I have to keep looking forward and not looking back at the past but it is just so hard sometimes. I look forward to the day we get that call from Lifetime and get to talk to our birth mother. I look forward to the day I get to finally bring my baby home and show him or her to the world. I look forward to making my parents grandparents and my brother an uncle finally. I look forward to the day I get to make my husband a father. I look forward to the day I am finally a mother.

Mother's Day While Waiting to Adopt

Here it is, once again, Mother's Day. Each year around this time I find myself praying that I will be a mother to a living child one year from now and each year it is the same thing. Another pregnancy loss or 2 and another holiday where I watch all of my friends who are mothers get recognition as I sit by wishing and hoping and praying that someday I will get to celebrate this wonderful day not just as a daughter but as a mother myself. This year to date I have 5 angels in heaven that will celebrate Mother's Day with me in my heart.

It was so nice to check my email today and receive a Mother's Day e-card from my Adoption Coordinator Dee over at Lifetime. I think this is the first Mother's Day card I have ever gotten!

I am really impressed with the amount of attention Lifetime Adoptions gives its families waiting to be matched. Every month they have a teleconference where a recent adoptive mother shares her story. This past week the call was amazing. I was literally crying tears of happiness for the new mom who was on the phone. I can't wait for the day when I get to tell my story.

Below is also a message and a video from the founder of Lifetime (an adoptive mother herself) Mardie Caldwell:

"Mother's Day while waiting to adopt can be difficult. But it can also be a day to reflect upon your blessings and strengthen your resolve that you WILL become parents through adoption if you do not give up. We are praying for you today and every day!"




HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to everyone out there!

Check out our adoption website and forward on to your family and friends!

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/weston_lisa/index.html

"Officially Waiting"

Now we are officially in the "waiting" period. This is the hard part where we just have to wait to be matched. They said the average time is between 3 months to a year to get matched with a birth mom. It's only been a couple of weeks and I am already getting antsy!! LOL I have never been one to be patient though so I guess this is good training for when the little one finally does get here.

A friend of mine just sent me this a few days ago and it really spoke to me. (especially with Mother's Day coming up) That is a hard holiday for me since I don't get acknowledged as a mother because I don't have a living child here on earth. Anyway- here is what she sent me:


I WILL BE...
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,
without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be a great mom. I will be a great mom not because of genetics,
or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep,explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbour, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as my own body has betrayed me.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

And yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Good video message from Mardie Caldwell, CEO of LIfetime Adoption, about "Waiting"

Profile Books Completed and Shipped!!

I am so happy and relieved that we finally got our profile adoption books bound and sent off to the agency!!

Yesterday I was a total stress case because the printed pages were coming from the printer via UPS from Florida and were scheduled to arrive Monday April 20th. I had arranged for everyone to come over that evening so we could get to work right away. I had intended on having everything set up and ready to go but it didn't happen that way exactly. I anxiously waited all day for them to get to the house constantly looking out the window to see if that big brown truck was coming around the corner. 5pm hit, then 6pm hit. Still no package. I had Weston's mom, his aunt, and his cousin at the house waiting to help me get these books together and the truck still hadn't showed up with my package. I called UPS 3 times to make sure that the package was still set to arrive that day and they assured me that the driver should be there any minute. Weston's brother, his wife and their little 9 month old showed up to help as well around 7pm. There I was, with a house full of people to help me put these books together and no books! The UPS truck FINALLY got there at 7:20pm. Of course we were his last stop.

Pictured: Aunt Ro, Rhea, Courtney, and Me working on the books)
We diligently got to work and started doing the hole punches, threading the ribbons, adding the charms, tying the bows, taping the DVDs in, and the picture on front. I am so grateful for everyone that showed up as I could not have gotten these done with out them. After everyone left Weston and I went through them and had to sign each one.

My sister-in-law Courtney putting together a profile book

All boxed up, signed, and ready to go I finally dropped them off at UPS this morning. I can't explain to you the relief I felt walking out of that UPS store. The books are scheduled to get to the agency Thursday before noon and then they can start sending them out to birth moms to view us as a possible family for their child.

NOW THE REAL WAITING BEGINS!!

Adoption profile book is off to the printers FINALLY!!

We finally got the book re-done and off to the printer!! I'm excited but nervous. I just want them to turn out nice you know? We've worked so hard on them and I just want them to be perfect. Right now I am making the 50 copies of our DVD slide show that will go into the books. This is all a lot of work and money but I know it will all be worth it when we have our little one here. I can't wait for that day.

The printer said that I should get them by next Monday. I hope they show up sooner than that so I can start assembling them. I should probably consider having a book binding party to get them done faster :) This all reminds me of getting ready for my wedding. There was so much to do. I remember having friends over to help me tie those little bows on all of the bells that were our name place holders.

So once I get the DVDs done I will have to make the labels and get 50 copies of our picture to go on the cover, assemble the books, ship them off to the agency, and then really begin to wait. Wait for birth moms to view our books, wait for someone to choose us. Just wait. But like I said, I would much rather have everything done and know that I did everything I could to stand out too those birth moms, and just wait for the call.

Our Adoption Journey

OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY

Most of you are aware of our struggles to start our family. After 5 pregnancy losses we are now venturing into the world of adoption. We are very excited to be adopting and are hoping that through this blog we can share our experience and help others that may be thinking about going through the process themselves.

This is also a way to get the word out to everyone that if you do hear of any pregnant women out there who are considering adoption to please let us know. You can contact us through this blog or via email at lisa_weston@live.com. We will also have a toll free number set up soon which I will post on this page. Any help or leads anyone can give us would be greatly appreciated. Below is a little slide show we have included in our profile with the adoption agency we are using. Enjoy!

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/

Our webpage with Lifetime Adoptions:

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/weston_lisa/index.html

1-800-923-6784

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