It's The Simple Things That Matter

Two Fridays ago my hubby and I were at Petco and adopted a water turtle named Crush for only $5. (my best friend Rhea helped me with the name since it was the name of the turtle in Finding Nemo) We kind of started laughing when they asked us if we were ready to sign the adoption papers. Oh how they have no idea how ready we are but for now we looked at this as "practice" for the real thing!

My favorite part about adopting this turtle was when our friends brought their little boy over to see him. The excitement on his face and the laugh he made when the turtle dove into the water just made us smile. After they left my husband said "seeing Bryce's reaction to the turtle was well worth the $5!" I realized then what a great father Weston is going to make. (not that I didn't already know but this confirmed it that much more) It's the little things that excite us when we are around our friends kids. We don't have to spend tons of money or show off. It is amazing how a $5 swimming turtle can brighten up your day when you you get to share it with a little kid who thinks it is the coolest thing he has ever seen. I can't wait for the day when we get to see our own child's smiling face when we show him or her the simple wonderful things life has to offer.

These Things Will Change

I saw my 10 month old nephew yesterday and he was so cute. He wouldn't let me leave the house when it was time to go. He kept hanging on to my shirt everytime I tried to hand him over to someone else. It made me feel really loved.

Today we should be celebrating our son's 1st birthday so I am feeling kind of sad.
I miss him so much but I am looking forward to the future.

Last night my mom and I went to the Taylor Swift concert and it was so much fun! I felt like a little girl again. I love her song Change. It reminds me not to give up and that things will change and I won't be childless forever. It was so inspiring to hear her sing it live last night.




Here are the lyrics:

CHANGE
By Taylor Swift

It's a sad picture;
The final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again,
You know it's all the same,
Another time and place,
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it
But I believe in whatever you do,
And I'll do anything to see it through...
Chorus:
Because these things will change,
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back
will fall down,
It's a revolution,
The time will come for us to finally win,
And we'll sing
Hallelujah
We'll sing
Hallelujah
Oh
So we've been outnumbered,
Threatened and now cornered,
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair,
We're getting stronger now,
find things they never found,
They might be bigger,
but we're faster and never scared.
You can walk away say "We don't need this"
But there's something in your eyes
says "We can beat this"
Chorus:
Because these things will change,
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down,
It's a revolution,
The time will come for us to finally win,
And we'll sing
Hallelujah
We'll sing
Hallelujah
Oh

Tonight we'll stand,
Get off our knees,
Fight for what we've worked for all these years,
and the battle was long,
It's the fight of our lives,
When we stand up,
Champions tonight
It was the night things changed,
Can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back...fell down,
It's a revolution,
Throw your hands up,
'cause we never gave in,
And we'll sing
Hallelujah
We sang
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Yeah

Have a great and safe weekend everyone!

The Wait Really Is the Hardest Part

Wow-They weren't kidding when they said the wait is the hardest part. It's only been about a month in a 1/2 since we went active with Lifetime Adoptions and I am already getting antsy. I bring my phone everywhere in case they call. Everyday I pray they call but they don't. Today I find myself feeling very sad and wondering if I will ever be a mother. I didn't sleep very well last night and woke up and had a good cry after breakfast. Everyday I see others around me having babies and it makes me sad. Of course I am happy for everyone else but I want to experience the wonderful joys everyone else is posting about on their facebook or myspace pages and experience motherhood first hand. I have never wanted something so badly in my life.

I'm tired of taking things one step at a time. I'm tired of waiting. I'm just plan tired. Each month I still have that little hope inside me that I will be pregnant and that the next one will stick but this morning I realized I am so tired of all the worry. I am so ready to adopt a baby and really start my family with my husband. Today I just feel so broken. I know it is normal to have days like this and these feelings will too pass but I am just so ready.

Maybe I am feeling extra down because this Friday I should be celebrating our little boy's first birthday on May 22nd. He is the only baby we acutally saw a heartbeat with and then 3 weeks later he was gone. I still think about that day. The day I had to call my husband and tell him I lost yet another baby of ours. We were so close that time it still hurts to not know why we lost him.

I know I have to keep looking forward and not looking back at the past but it is just so hard sometimes. I look forward to the day we get that call from Lifetime and get to talk to our birth mother. I look forward to the day I get to finally bring my baby home and show him or her to the world. I look forward to making my parents grandparents and my brother an uncle finally. I look forward to the day I get to make my husband a father. I look forward to the day I am finally a mother.

Our Adoption Journey

OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY

Most of you are aware of our struggles to start our family. After 5 pregnancy losses we are now venturing into the world of adoption. We are very excited to be adopting and are hoping that through this blog we can share our experience and help others that may be thinking about going through the process themselves.

This is also a way to get the word out to everyone that if you do hear of any pregnant women out there who are considering adoption to please let us know. You can contact us through this blog or via email at lisa_weston@live.com. We will also have a toll free number set up soon which I will post on this page. Any help or leads anyone can give us would be greatly appreciated. Below is a little slide show we have included in our profile with the adoption agency we are using. Enjoy!

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/

Our webpage with Lifetime Adoptions:

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/weston_lisa/index.html

1-800-923-6784

PLAYLIST