This was posted on the Lifetime Adoptions website today!

This was just posted on Lifetime Adoptions website today :) We will also appear onthe Newly Adopted Page as well.

Dreams Do Come True & Prayers Are Answered!

WE ARE PARENTS!!!! I think I am still in shock!!

Sorry it has taken me so long to write. I am still adjusting to motherhood and Kayla is having tons of visitors every day.

Here is our Adoption Story:
We received a call from Lifetime Adoptions on June 24th that a birthmother had reviewed 9 profiles and wanted only us for her 2 1/2 month old baby girl Sophia. We were elated! We didn't have to wait for her to decide between 2 or 3 families. She only wanted us which was amazing!

Thursday June 25th the birthmother and I talked and we reported back to Lifetime that we both wanted to move forward. We had arranged for her to call back at 5:30pm so she could talk to my husband. I had forwarded our adoption 800# to my phone and headed down to my husband's office since he was working late and we waited and waited. No call :( We were heartbroken. The agency kept calling her and there was no response. We were sure she had changed her mind. So many emotions went through my head. "Did I say something wrong on the phone call?" I kept going over the conversation in my head and couldn't find anything I might have said to offend her. We decided to go get some dinner that night and I was so distraught, How could I be going through another type of loss again? This just wasn't fair. We were so close. Then little signs kept coming around me. I was walking around the shops near my husband's office and looked through the window of a souvenir shop. There they had personalized AZ license plates with names on it. There was a man looking at them and when he turned the spinning display the name Sophia faced directly toward me. Was this God's way of telling me this was going to work out? I'll admit, there was a little glimmer of hope still there in my heart but I have had that hope before and had my heart broken with my previous pregnancy losses so I tried not to look to much into it.

As everyone knows, June 25th was the day Michael Jackson died so there was a ton of coverage all over the television. I was at home watching a report on his death when they showed a girl dancing like Michael in front of the Apollo Theater. The announcer said, "and that was Sophie dancing like Michael Jackson." I immediately looked up and thought, "hmm that was weird."

I am a big believer that things happen in 3's so I thought, Okay- that is 2, am I going to get one more sign?" Then a Gerber baby commercial came on. It was a stretch but I counted it as sign #3 anyways.

Friday passed- still no word. Saturday passed- still no word. I was such an emotional wreck. The only thing that made me feel better was babysitting my almost 1 year old nephew. It's so weird but he is my saving grace. Whenever I am down I can just be around him and he lifts my spirits.

Sunday my husband took me to see a funny movie to get my mind off of things. It definitely helped brighten my mood. Then, it happened. SHE CALLED!! She apologized and said she had left for a trip to see her sister and forgotten her phone and that she hadn't changed her mind. She still wanted to move forward. We couldn't believe it.

That whole next week I was on the phone with attorneys and social workers. We found out Wed July 1st that the adoption would take place on July 6th and that we had to fly to Reno. We immediately bought our plane tickets and booked our hotel room. Needless to say I did not sleep well at all that week. I was excited, scared, anxious. I just wanted to go and pick up our baby at that moment.

Friday we went to Target and bought the car seat and stroller. I was so nervous. I felt like we shouldn't be there buying these things yet but my husband wanted to get the basic essentials we needed before we got to Reno so we wouldn't be rushing around.

Saturday was July 4th. I wanted to tell everyone so badly but we knew we had to wait until it was final. It’s kind of like when you are pregnant and don’t tell anyone until the 2nd trimester. You don’t want to announce it too early in case it doesn’t work out.

Sunday we hopped on a plane to Reno. The birthmother text me and told me she didn’t have a ride so we offered to pick her and the baby up for the Monday morning appointment., I was happy about this because one of my biggest fears was that she wouldn’t show up to the signing. Now we were picking her up so that wouldn’t be an issues.

That night my husband and I didn’t sleep. We were so filled with anxiety and anxious about the events that were to happen Monday morning.

The next morning we picked up the birthmother and the baby and I immediately fell in love. That little girl was so amazingly beautiful. We went to the social worker’s office and the signing began. Once all was said and done the time came for our birthmother to say goodbye to the baby. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to see. What a brave woman she is. I admire her strength and her trust in Weston and I to raise her birth daughter. She kept telling us she knew she was doing the right thing and that we could give her baby the kind of life she wouldn’t be able to provide for her. I asked her if she would like some time alone with the baby before we left and she said no. We dropped her off at her sister’s apartment. The 3 of us just hugged and tightly and said our goodbyes.

Dreams Do Come True & Prayers Are Answered. I love this little girl as if I carried her for 9 months. Our love for Kayla is more than we could have ever imagined and we feel so blessed and lucky to have her in our lives. Of course hindsight is 20/20 but it is amazing when you look back at your journey and realize why certain things happened the way they did. Losing my job back in October happened for a reason. We were supposed to meet this little girl at the exact time we did. It was all part of a big plan that we had no control over.

Today I look at Kayla in awe. I can't believe after 3 1/2 years and 5 pregnancy losses I am finally a mommy! My husband is finally a daddy, my parents are finally grandparents, my brother is finally an uncle. This is what I have prayed for every night and the time is finally here!

For anyone out there struggling with attaining a dream my advice to you is to keep pushing forward. Randy Pausch said it perfectly. “Brick walls are there for a reason. They help us prove how badly we want something.” My husband and I sure faced a lot of brick walls but we made it!


"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone.

But, still miraculously, my own.

Never forget, for a single minute

You didn't grow under my heart, but in it."

-UNKNOWN

Our Beautiful Daughter Kayla Sophia!

The Wait Really Is the Hardest Part

Wow-They weren't kidding when they said the wait is the hardest part. It's only been about a month in a 1/2 since we went active with Lifetime Adoptions and I am already getting antsy. I bring my phone everywhere in case they call. Everyday I pray they call but they don't. Today I find myself feeling very sad and wondering if I will ever be a mother. I didn't sleep very well last night and woke up and had a good cry after breakfast. Everyday I see others around me having babies and it makes me sad. Of course I am happy for everyone else but I want to experience the wonderful joys everyone else is posting about on their facebook or myspace pages and experience motherhood first hand. I have never wanted something so badly in my life.

I'm tired of taking things one step at a time. I'm tired of waiting. I'm just plan tired. Each month I still have that little hope inside me that I will be pregnant and that the next one will stick but this morning I realized I am so tired of all the worry. I am so ready to adopt a baby and really start my family with my husband. Today I just feel so broken. I know it is normal to have days like this and these feelings will too pass but I am just so ready.

Maybe I am feeling extra down because this Friday I should be celebrating our little boy's first birthday on May 22nd. He is the only baby we acutally saw a heartbeat with and then 3 weeks later he was gone. I still think about that day. The day I had to call my husband and tell him I lost yet another baby of ours. We were so close that time it still hurts to not know why we lost him.

I know I have to keep looking forward and not looking back at the past but it is just so hard sometimes. I look forward to the day we get that call from Lifetime and get to talk to our birth mother. I look forward to the day I get to finally bring my baby home and show him or her to the world. I look forward to making my parents grandparents and my brother an uncle finally. I look forward to the day I get to make my husband a father. I look forward to the day I am finally a mother.

"Officially Waiting"

Now we are officially in the "waiting" period. This is the hard part where we just have to wait to be matched. They said the average time is between 3 months to a year to get matched with a birth mom. It's only been a couple of weeks and I am already getting antsy!! LOL I have never been one to be patient though so I guess this is good training for when the little one finally does get here.

A friend of mine just sent me this a few days ago and it really spoke to me. (especially with Mother's Day coming up) That is a hard holiday for me since I don't get acknowledged as a mother because I don't have a living child here on earth. Anyway- here is what she sent me:


I WILL BE...
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,
without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be a great mom. I will be a great mom not because of genetics,
or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep,explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbour, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as my own body has betrayed me.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

And yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Good video message from Mardie Caldwell, CEO of LIfetime Adoption, about "Waiting"

Profile Books Completed and Shipped!!

I am so happy and relieved that we finally got our profile adoption books bound and sent off to the agency!!

Yesterday I was a total stress case because the printed pages were coming from the printer via UPS from Florida and were scheduled to arrive Monday April 20th. I had arranged for everyone to come over that evening so we could get to work right away. I had intended on having everything set up and ready to go but it didn't happen that way exactly. I anxiously waited all day for them to get to the house constantly looking out the window to see if that big brown truck was coming around the corner. 5pm hit, then 6pm hit. Still no package. I had Weston's mom, his aunt, and his cousin at the house waiting to help me get these books together and the truck still hadn't showed up with my package. I called UPS 3 times to make sure that the package was still set to arrive that day and they assured me that the driver should be there any minute. Weston's brother, his wife and their little 9 month old showed up to help as well around 7pm. There I was, with a house full of people to help me put these books together and no books! The UPS truck FINALLY got there at 7:20pm. Of course we were his last stop.

Pictured: Aunt Ro, Rhea, Courtney, and Me working on the books)
We diligently got to work and started doing the hole punches, threading the ribbons, adding the charms, tying the bows, taping the DVDs in, and the picture on front. I am so grateful for everyone that showed up as I could not have gotten these done with out them. After everyone left Weston and I went through them and had to sign each one.

My sister-in-law Courtney putting together a profile book

All boxed up, signed, and ready to go I finally dropped them off at UPS this morning. I can't explain to you the relief I felt walking out of that UPS store. The books are scheduled to get to the agency Thursday before noon and then they can start sending them out to birth moms to view us as a possible family for their child.

NOW THE REAL WAITING BEGINS!!

Adoption profile book is off to the printers FINALLY!!

We finally got the book re-done and off to the printer!! I'm excited but nervous. I just want them to turn out nice you know? We've worked so hard on them and I just want them to be perfect. Right now I am making the 50 copies of our DVD slide show that will go into the books. This is all a lot of work and money but I know it will all be worth it when we have our little one here. I can't wait for that day.

The printer said that I should get them by next Monday. I hope they show up sooner than that so I can start assembling them. I should probably consider having a book binding party to get them done faster :) This all reminds me of getting ready for my wedding. There was so much to do. I remember having friends over to help me tie those little bows on all of the bells that were our name place holders.

So once I get the DVDs done I will have to make the labels and get 50 copies of our picture to go on the cover, assemble the books, ship them off to the agency, and then really begin to wait. Wait for birth moms to view our books, wait for someone to choose us. Just wait. But like I said, I would much rather have everything done and know that I did everything I could to stand out too those birth moms, and just wait for the call.

Our Adoption Journey

OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY

Most of you are aware of our struggles to start our family. After 5 pregnancy losses we are now venturing into the world of adoption. We are very excited to be adopting and are hoping that through this blog we can share our experience and help others that may be thinking about going through the process themselves.

This is also a way to get the word out to everyone that if you do hear of any pregnant women out there who are considering adoption to please let us know. You can contact us through this blog or via email at lisa_weston@live.com. We will also have a toll free number set up soon which I will post on this page. Any help or leads anyone can give us would be greatly appreciated. Below is a little slide show we have included in our profile with the adoption agency we are using. Enjoy!

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/

Our webpage with Lifetime Adoptions:

http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/weston_lisa/index.html

1-800-923-6784

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